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you guys don’t understand how hard it is to be the hot friend and how much pressure is put on you


mom dad why can’t you just accept me for the bad bitch i am



i miss getting party bags at the end of parties why dont we still do that party bags were the best part of the party

It was like a reward for being sociable


last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up


volleyball is just a more intense version of “don’t let the balloon touch the floor